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I wipe my slick palms against the thigh of my jeans, gnawing nervously on my thumb’s shredded hang nail. What’s it like to date again after you are widowed? And, to be frank, I had zero interest in ever being in it again. I fumbled, made some mistakes, and, yes, had some fun too. So for all of you aching to know and just too , scared to ask, I will now attempt to answer all those taboo questions with as much honesty as I can muster. Like many widows out there, I was out of the dating game for a long, long time. I bypassed the entire “dating” phase of life and essentially went straight from high school to married so learning to cope with members of the opposite sex in a dating situation was beyond my comprehension at first.

Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing...

Abel Keogh, author of several books on dating after the death of a spouse, wrote in “Dating a Widower” that the right timeframe for one person might be several weeks, while for another it could be several months or years.

Other people might have their own ideas about how long you should grieve before dating, but since grief is an individual process, you’re the only one who really knows when you’re ready.

In my conversations with widows and widowers they often say to me, “I just can’t imagine being with someone else” or “I can’t imagine holding someone else’s hand or going out on a date with someone else—it just seems weird and awkward and wrong.” I will say to you that it certainly does at first feel weird. When you date for a little while the nature of your humanity takes over and it feels OK to be holding someone else’s hand—and then it feels more than OK—it feels great!

I’m going to be blunt—it absolutely sucks to come home to an empty household. It is an hollow feeling to go on a business trip and know that you have no one to call to tell them that you arrived safely.




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